


Guilt

by melxncholly



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:31:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5685817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melxncholly/pseuds/melxncholly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It should have been her to die. She should have been in his place instead.</p><p>Gabrielle mourns her husbands death, and questions how faithful she truly was to him. Cullen is there to help ease her mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of self indulgent floof. To add some context, this is all apart of a bigger thing I have planned for my Inquisitor Moira Trevelyan. Gabrielle married into the Trevelyan family from a wealthy Orlesian family. She gave birth a month before the Conclave and instead of staying home, traveled with her husband only to be left behind in Haven with their son. Her husband died in the explosion, and she decided to stay in Haven to help her family and the fledgling Inquisition. Somehow she and Cullen fell in love during all tht??? idk its 2:49 am and i'm just done with this

Ethan slept soundly in Gabrielle’s arms, swaddled in the soft blue blanket Moira had given her. Cullen slept softly besides her. The two people most important to her were safe and near her, yet all Gabrielle could think of was her guilt. _Survivor’s Guilt_ , was what the healers had told her. She denied it of course, but in the quiet of the night Gabrielle couldn’t help but remember how Robert had died alone. Died without doing all the good he could’ve done.

Her dear husband, her sweet Robert, he had jumped at the chance to be a representative with this family at the Divine’s Conclave. Naturally Gabrielle had gone with him. Perhaps it would have been smarter if she had convinced him to stay home. Stay in Ostwick with her and their baby. Ethan had just been born less than a month before, and the Conclave was so far. It would have been easy to make Robert stay.  But no, Robert was a good man. A true follower of the Chantry and it’s teachings, and a lover of peace. Robert was a good and holy man who was devoted to his wife and family, and here Gabrielle was, sleeping with a man not even a year after Robert’s death.

It wasn’t right. She wasn’t right. She was a terrible wife, jumping into the arms of another man before his body was even cold. (Moira tells her that’s not true, but oh how she doesn’t believe it.)

Robert was such a good man and Gabrielle didn’t deserve a husband like him. Oh, how it should have been her. It should have been her.

Hot tears fell down her cheeks, Gabrielle tried to stifle her sobs with her hand. If she woke Ethan up now he’d never fall back asleep.

“Gabby?” Cullen’s voice pulled her from her thoughts.  She wiped the tears with the back of her hand and stood, carrying Ethan and gently placing him in his crib.

“Yes Cullen?” her voice came out rough as she took a shaky breath in. She smoothed Ethan’s hair back as she fought back another sob. She heard the bed creak as Cullen came to stand behind her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders.

“Why don’t you come back to bed love?” His voice was gentle as he spoke. She leaned back into his chest, and Cullen’s arms wrapped around her waist.

“I will. I just want to watch him for a little bit more.” Gabrielle’s voice was rough as she spoke. Her eyes were glued onto Ethan’s sleeping form. He looked more like her than Robert, but he had his eyes. The beautiful green eye’s Gabrielle fell in love with all those years ago in that ballroom in Val Royeaux.  She felt the tears come again, Robert would never see him grow.

“Gabrielle…”

“I-I just wish Robert… that he could have had more time with him.” Her tears fell freely, making hot trails down her cheeks. She’d be a mess in the morning, whenever it came.  Cullen pulled away from her, turning the woman around so he could look her in the face. She had helped him more than she knew, by just standing by his side and being there when he was at his lowest.  If Cullen could give back only a fraction of that, it still wouldn’t be enough. All the love Gabrielle gave him, all the caring, Cullen could only dream of returning.  Seeing her so distraught, it broke his heart.

“He wouldn’t want you hurting like this Gabrielle.” Cullen cupped her cheek, tipping her head to look up at him. He prayed that what he was saying was right, that it didn’t come out shallow and terrible. “I never knew the man, so perhaps I shouldn’t be passing judgment like this but… I’m sure he’d want you to be happy. I’m positive that there was nothing more in the world that he loved, than you and the son you had together.” Cullen sucked in a breath, watching Gabrielle’s face eagerly.

Her face crumpled as she buried it into Cullen’s chest, the fabric of his night shirt dampening by her tears. Her arms wrapped around Cullen and she squeezed as she cried. Faintly she heard Cullen speak, trying to reassure her and calm her down.

“You’re right!” Her words were muffled by Cullen’s shirt. “H-he wouldn’t want this! I’m b-being so selfish!” Robert did love her. He would always love her, and here she was, worrying about herself rather than her son, and the man who was standing here comforting her.

“Oh, oh Gabby.” Cullen sighed as he rubbed her back. “You daft woman. You’re the farthest thing from selfish.” He paused, listening to her cry for a moment before he began to speak again. “Your being upset isn’t selfish at all. You are perhaps the kindest, most heartfelt woman I’ve ever met, and I bet you that Robert knew that. You deserve happiness in your life, no matter what.” He was quiet as her sobs died down, as her arms fell from their vice grip around him.

“You really mean that?” Her voice was soft as she spoke, and Cullen rubbed her back in response.

“I do. No matter what, you deserve to be happy.”

The two of them were quiet,  the only sounds were their breathing and Gabrielle’s quiet hiccups. When Cullen felt his eyes grow heavy again, he took her hands, and gently led her to their bed. He climbed in after Gabrielle, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close.

“Cullen?” She spoke after a long moment.

“Mmm?”

“Thank you.” Her response from him was a soft laugh, and a kiss placed to the back of her neck.


End file.
